Since it's January 1, I am full of resolutions and ideas for improvement. I am also acutely aware of the fact that the only New Year's resolution that has actually worked is when I decided to stop biting my nails three years ago. I really want to be healthy, to be a better mom, to increase my spirituality, but I have proven so many times that I have not yet developed the tools to put my lofty plans in to action. I keep asking myself why this year would be any different. I am discouraged before starting.

I do have slightly better plans than I have in years past. I have made a list of changes I want to make to facilitate weight loss. I have focused on things that should become permanent. I am assembling a variety of at-home workouts so I have different thing to choose from to avoid the boredom pitfall. Our family just needs to eat healthier in general. I don't want to diet. I want to change the way we eat, and I want to change the way I think about food. That is the big key to my success. Emotional eating is so easy and so effective for me that I have not been able to find a replacement for it.

I have largely ignored making any real goals outside of weight loss. I can feel my body struggling with the weight of four pregnancies on top of the extra weight I was carrying before. I believe that if I can get my physical health in check, I will have the energy and desire to improve in other ways. I am also trying not to shoot myself in the foot by taking on too much at once.

I really want to run a 5K this summer. I need to sign up for one so I have a deadline. That's a really good idea. I need to take some time, probably tomorrow, and really clearly define my short-term goals.

I'm also getting ready to try to potty train Zachary. I really don't know how to potty train a boy. I think I'll call Stephanie.

My goal for this week is to do my microfit assessment for Body by Whiteman. That's a weight loss challenge I signed up for. At least that's something I have been proactive about already. I am also going to drink three quarts of water a day this week. There they are, written down.

I'm still nervous.