Obviously I made so specific goals about keeping my with my journal.  Here's an update:

I have lost 35 lbs this year.  I lost all of that by July 1 then let vacation sabotage me.  Although I am still going ot the gym three times a week, my nutrition never got back on track.  I also haven't used my at-home workout idea, although it is very nicely arranged in a lovely red folder.

I ran my first 5K in May.  I ran my second 5K in June.  I'm running my third in November.  Running is a very generous term for what I actually do.  I jog and walk.  I came in at 40:40 for my first race and 42:44 for my second.  Not what I was hoping for on the second one, but I was sick.  My asthma was acting up, and I had decided not to go.  At the last minute, I grabbed my inhaler and a handful of cough drops and went anyway.  I figured that it would be better to walk it while puffing Albuterol than not to try at all.  I'm pleased that I was able to do it and prove to myself how tough I am.

Zack is potty trained!  I put it off until after we got back from Utah this summer.  He just didn't seem ready until it was too close to vacation.  He had WAY more poop accidents than the girls ever did, but we got there.  Just one more to go.

I've started couponing.  I've got a big list to get today.  I love that we are getting our food storage and saving money.  It's also a lot of fun to track down the best deals.

Speaking of food storage, I've also become a Shelf Reliance consultant.  I'm pretty nervous because I've never done anything like this.  I'll be hosting my first party in a few weeks.  We'll see how it goes.

Since it's January 1, I am full of resolutions and ideas for improvement. I am also acutely aware of the fact that the only New Year's resolution that has actually worked is when I decided to stop biting my nails three years ago. I really want to be healthy, to be a better mom, to increase my spirituality, but I have proven so many times that I have not yet developed the tools to put my lofty plans in to action. I keep asking myself why this year would be any different. I am discouraged before starting.

I do have slightly better plans than I have in years past. I have made a list of changes I want to make to facilitate weight loss. I have focused on things that should become permanent. I am assembling a variety of at-home workouts so I have different thing to choose from to avoid the boredom pitfall. Our family just needs to eat healthier in general. I don't want to diet. I want to change the way we eat, and I want to change the way I think about food. That is the big key to my success. Emotional eating is so easy and so effective for me that I have not been able to find a replacement for it.

I have largely ignored making any real goals outside of weight loss. I can feel my body struggling with the weight of four pregnancies on top of the extra weight I was carrying before. I believe that if I can get my physical health in check, I will have the energy and desire to improve in other ways. I am also trying not to shoot myself in the foot by taking on too much at once.

I really want to run a 5K this summer. I need to sign up for one so I have a deadline. That's a really good idea. I need to take some time, probably tomorrow, and really clearly define my short-term goals.

I'm also getting ready to try to potty train Zachary. I really don't know how to potty train a boy. I think I'll call Stephanie.

My goal for this week is to do my microfit assessment for Body by Whiteman. That's a weight loss challenge I signed up for. At least that's something I have been proactive about already. I am also going to drink three quarts of water a day this week. There they are, written down.

I'm still nervous.

I am so sick. I started feeling bad last Sunday a couple of hours after I got home from church. By Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, I knew things had gotten bad and that I had pneumonia. I went in to the clinic on Wednesday morning and fought my way through my appointment, finally getting the doctor to agree to do a chest x-ray. She came back to tell me that my lungs looked terrible and that I needed to go to bed and do nothing else.

It's Global Thunder right now, which is a big yearly exercise during which almost everyone is on twelve-hour shifts every day including weekends. Ben was able to talk to his boss and has been going in for three hours in the morning then coming home for the rest of the day. I was hoping that I would be feeling well enough by today for him to work more, but I really don't feel that I'm getting better at all. Sometimes I just get so frustrated that I can't take care of my family because I get so sick. Ben was able to take a nap this afternoon while Tyler napped and the kids watched movies with me. It took a little bit of the guilt away, but not much.

I created this journal in the hope that I would be more likely to jump on the computer during the day instead of waiting for the kids to go to bed then feeling too tired to do anything but go to bed myself. It has been sitting empty for months because every time I think about it, I want to vent while in a bad mood, and that didn't seem the most appropriate beginning.

We had Stake Conference this weekend, and I felt that there were a lot of messages meant for me. I had an amazing experience learning about the Spirit as it spoke to me. I felt there were so many things I needed to change and improve, but as I had those thoughts, they were accompanied by such a great feeling of love that I knew this was Heavenly Father speaking to me. No feelings of guilt or inadequacy. Just a sincere desire to move myself and my family closer to God.

Elder Porter of the Seventy told us that we need to remove Babylon from our homes. If there were an accounting taken of our home today, how would we do. I immediately thought of changes that could be made in our daily activites to invite the Spirit in more. Less TV for sure.

He also said that, no matter where your child goes to school, homeschool must be a part of their education. He used the example of Abraham Lincoln and his limited formal schooling. After the elementary education he received, he read the classics, which brought him to the level of reading, writing, and speaking that made him a great leader. He also said that our children will learn to read better and earlier if they read the scriptures in our family scripture study, no matter how much help they need. He have just been reading the words and having Sydney repeat them, but we started having her read herself and just do her best. She is excited about reading the scriptures so this is a great time for her to take this step.

There was also a lot of talk about the infinite atonement of the Savior. I believe this theme was so important along with all of the challenges we were given. In trying to improve, what greater motivation can you find than the Savior's comprehensive sacrifice that has already paid for my shortcomings? I can feel Christ's joy that I have chose to draw upon that source to overcome my failings and draw closer to Him.

I really loved the talk about what a woman of God looks like. Do people know what I believe just by watching me? I'm not sure, but I hope that as I try to be a better person, mother, and wife, others around me will see the light of Christ in me.

I have veered off of the path so many times. I am a little overwhelmed by all of the changes I hope to make, but I know that I have time and that as long as I'm moving forward, I am doing well.